Busyness.

I spent the first three weeks between learning of our diagnosis and our next doctor’s visit reading everything I could about infertility and feeling alternately hopeful and sick to my stomach.

Obviously, that is not a productive way to live a life.

We are new to our community, and I really didn’t have anything I had to do at the time, so it was easy to wallow.

Our situation is terrible and I hate what we’re going through. But today I am glad that I have accumulated a million and ten other things on my to do list for this week. All the time I will spend doing those things is time I can’t spend hyper-focused on the fact that our chances of having our own baby without miracle and ART are zero.

I generally hate being busy to the point of feeling overwhelmed, but this week I welcome it. It’s good to have something useful to do.