I’m feeling bratty, but I’m going to fuss again. Sorry about that.
Monday night I was at small group. I love my small group, and it has been a huge blessing in my life so far. I am getting to know some wonderful couples and making friends and starting to feel, for the first time in 10 months, like I have a life and a community around me. We haven’t shared what we’re going through with anyone in my small group at this point, and I don’t know if/when we will.
One of the couples in our group announced a couple of weeks ago that they are expecting. And while I do find myself often feeling sad and left out when I find out people are pregnant, I’ve been genuinely happy for them. But Monday night I had to take a step back and bite my tongue when the mom-to-be started talking about how, while they’re happy to be expecting, “pregnancy is such a burden.” She said it because she feels “slightly nauseated” if she doesn’t eat every two hours.
When she said that, my stomach clenched. I don’t know why it annoyed me so much. I guess because I feel she is taking her pregnancy for granted. And maybe because I would rather projectile vomit every single day for 40 weeks than not get pregnant. I can’t really be upset with her, because it’s not like she knows what we’re dealing with. And I don’t think most people have ever thought about infertility or how absolutely painful it is to find out you may never have children.
I guess comments like that–and so many others–make me wish infertility were a more recognized issue (not that I’m doing anything to make it more known at this point). I wish when people thought about saying, “So when are you going to have kids?” they knew enough about infertility to stop themselves and think, what if she can’t?
October 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm
I had a friend struggle with infertility. She went through three rounds of IUI without success and then did IVF. She got pregnant with twins (yay), but a few weeks in she was kind of complaining about having to wear maternity pants already. I was a little taken aback.. I mean…she should understand if anyone would! Bring on the maternity pants!!
I feel your pain though. My sister likes to call and tell me my eggs are going bad and my children will be sick…. because she’s just that type of person. One day I’ll tell her what we’ve been through and give her a smack on the back of the head. 🙂
October 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Wow. I really hope someone smacks me if I ever complain about being pregnant (if I ever get pregnant).